The little things.

I am nursing a serious holiday hangover. The week leading up to Christmas was stuffed to the gills with stress, and while we had an awesome Christmas, all the travel and hosting has left me exhausted. In times like these, when I'm lacking energy, it's really the little things that get me through. A few lovely little things of late:

* Henry wildly flapping his arms with excitement while opening his Christmas gifts. I didn't get it on "film", but here's my very excited boy on Christmas morning:

* All of the incredible sleep Ben and I were able to get last night, thanks to my awesome Mom and Dave who offered to keep Henry for the night. What an awesome gift!!

* Having my brother home for a little bit. I've gotten to see him twice already, and hopefully at least a few more times.


* The beautiful colors of the season. I made sugared rosemary and cranberries to go with the Buche de Noel I made for Christmas dinner, and I was in awe of the gorgeous colors (pre-sugaring):


* My new iPhone cover, whose impending arrival has me stalking UPS trucks everywhere:

My "Stop Doing" List.

I was inspired by this blog, where the author asked her readers what they intended to STOP DOING in 2010. We place so much importance and weight on our New Year's resolutions, what about the things we're resolving to NOT DO anymore? Here's my list:

The Stop Doing List

I will stop...
* ...Feeling guilty about a messy house. I don't need the guilt. I live with an almost two-year old who is full of life and energy. When he's not using that energy to inspect and explore every square inch of our home, he's using his energy to splash in the bathtub, throw a tantrum, make me laugh or RUN. More important than vacuum lines in the carpet is the amount of myself I'm able to give to him.

* ...Fighting to keep the laptop open. Henry sends me a loud and clear message when he yells "NO!" and runs full-charge to slam my laptop. He needs me then. I don't need Facebook as much as he needs my attention in that moment. Just surrender already.

* ...Letting my commitments interrupt what could be a more relaxed day. Yes, every day is chock full of things I've committed to. Be there at 9:30am, be somewhere else at 1pm. If following through with those commitments is making me unhappy, stressed-out and anxious, it's not worth it that day. There's always tomorrow.

* ...Believing that my weight says something about me as a person. It doesn't. It's me on the outside, it's not me on the inside. Enough all-freaking-ready.

* ...Waiting for people to offer to watch Henry so Ben and I can have a date. I have a phone, and it wouldn't kill me to actually ask every now and then. Dates are important, and it's just as important that Henry is around nice people often so he learns that the world is full of nice people who want to play with him.

* ...Trying to decide the future today. I'm tired of feeling that all major life decisions in my future must be decided and written down in permanent ink today. I don't want to keep up this pressure to figure it all out right away. I will learn to answer myself, "I don't know. I'll figure that out later."

* ...Being hard on myself for eating fast food once in a while. I'm a busy mom who tries her hardest to get healthy food on her family's table. If I decide to run to Dick's because I'm in the area for a shoot and can't resist, oh well. There are worse things I could be doing.

* ...Playing the compare game. We're all doing our best, right? Well, maybe not all of us. But what good does it do for me to compare where I am, and how I'm living with other people? If it's good enough for me and my family, that's all that really matters.

* ...Wearing so little pink. No color makes me happier or makes me feel more feminine. In high school I wore it every single day. (Seriously.) Maybe I'll trade some of my black clothes for a brilliant pop of bubblegum pink.

* ...Sacrificing a shower or washing my face so I can be places on time. I'm almost never late. I don't take long showers. Feeling clean and refreshed is important to my sense of self-worth and confidence. The answer here is simple.

* ...Texting while I drive. It can wait.

* ...Scheduling photo shoots on both weekend days. The weekend is the only opportunity we get to be together as a family for more than a few hours. Spending that time with Ben and Henry is as important as my job. There can be balance, and I intend to find it.

Yo Gabba Gabba Makes Me Cry

Henry is pretty particular about his TV viewing. Generally, if it's not Imagination Movers, it's not gonna fly. Lately however he's been getting into Yo Gabba Gabba, which I have to pay for through Amazon's digital downloads because we don't get that channel. I have found myself watching along with him and really enjoy the music and the little lessons.

This afternoon we were watching the "Differences" episode and on came this little story about Argyle the Octopus. Let me back up. If there's one animal that truly scares the crap out of me, it's the octopus. I think they are the creepiest animals out there, and have made a point to avoid watching anything that involves them. But this story was different. It was so poignant and sweet, I found myself with tears in my eyes!

After scouring the internet for the text of the story and coming up short, I sat on the couch, remote in hand and typed out the words line by line. The pause and rewind buttons were very handy, as the story is told by a little child who didn't speak the clearest.

Enjoy this touching story.

Argyle the Octopus

Argyle the octopus lived in the sea. His skin was different than you and me. He had a beautiful pattern of orange and brown. It was very unique, like no other fish around.

He loved to play and be a part of the team. The other sharks and fish were sometimes mean, so he covered himself with a spray of black ink and hid from other fish to be alone to think.

He was different than most everyone and fishes got scared and sometimes ran. The argyle wondered, what do they care about his bright colors, and patterns and squares? Some said his color, what a strange mistake! Others thought his skin looked really quite fake.

But Argyle thought that the truth was in fact, his skin was a present from his mom and his dad! Little Argyle smiled with a happy grin because he was proud to wear his family skin.

Nashville!

I have been humming and hawing about the prospect of flying out to Nashville in January for the Digital Wedding Forum (DWF) annual conference. I almost went last year but then backed out because I didn't want to leave Henry AND Ben.

I had actually written the conference off because I needed something to push me into going. Call me crazy, but I was asking for a "sign" that would tell me to go. I decided I wanted to get an e-mail from Expedia or Travelocity advertising a Nashville flight special. Not necessarily from Seattle, just a Nashville flight special in general. It never came, so I kind of gave up on the idea. Until yesterday.

Another Seattle photographer e-mailed me yesterday asking if I wanted to room with her to share expenses. That was the sign I needed! After discussing it with Ben, I purchased airfare today and registered for the conference. I'm in!

I'm really excited to see the speakers who will be presenting. Kevin Kubota, Jerry Ghionis, etc. I'll also have the opportunity to go to the Imaging USA trade show, see a new city and hopefully make some new friends. I added an extra day to my trip for time to sight see, and possibly do a bit of shopping.

The best part of the trip, I think, will be the opportunity to be 100% submersed in my craft. For five FULL days, I'll be focused on my career, photo education and finding inspiration. I think it'll be a great source of energy and renewed spark for 2010.

Have you been to Nashville? Any must-sees? I won't have a ton of extra time, but would like to spend at least a little bit of time in the city. I've also heard it's possible to find some great BBQ. Recommendations?

Lovely Wenesday.

What makes a perfect Wednesday? My mom having the day off and offering to watch Henry while I run errands and shop. Add in a perfect pair of patent leather flats and you've got true perfection!

Dealing with sleeplessness.

Not sure exactly why, but I've been dealing with some sleeplessness issues lately. It's been about two weeks now that I've been having a hard time falling asleep. A few nights it's taken me until around 3am to finally fall asleep! That's just so not like me. So to deal with these issues, I've been having to find ways to make the whole thing easier on myself.

For as long as Ben and I have been together (8.5 years now!), we've always gone to bed at the same time. I don't think either of us thought anything of it, until I started protesting that he wanted to go to sleep at 9pm and I wasn't nearly tired enough. It's been a big adjustment, but I've been staying up later than he has in order to avoid laying there struggling to get drowsy.

I'm not entirely comfortable with being the only one awake in the house, but I'm getting there. I don't know why, but it has always bothered me to be the only person awake. I can remember even as a little kid panicking that everyone was asleep and fearing that I would be awake forever. It's strange how childhood fears can bleed into our rational adult lives.

People have recommended chiropractors for help with sleep issues, and that something I think I will check out. Ben has been to the chiropractor many times and said he's enjoyed it. I think it's worth a shot.

Have you had sleep issues in the past? How did you deal with it?

Sweet nugget.

Last night Ben went to an "Importance of Fathers" seminar through the Lake Washington Toddler Group, which meant I got to put Henry down to sleep. Normally this isn't my favorite part of the day, but last night was really precious. As I took him to his room, Henry just snuggled up on my chest. So I stood there and held him for awhile and finally I said to him, "I love you, Henry. You're the best boy." And in his sweet little sleepy voice he said, "The best...".

Taking a little time for me.

Last weekend, Ben and Henry headed down to Vancouver to visit Ben's side of the family. I wasn't able to go along, because I had four photo shoots here in Seattle. 'Tis the season for holiday photos! While I knew I would miss them, I was also really looking forward to spending the weekend alone. And I do mean alone. I specifically didn't make plans with anyone ahead of time, which turned out to be a good thing, as I got a horrible cold on Friday. Aside from my clients, it was just me, myself and I.

So, how did I spend my weekend? Glad you asked.

Friday night:
* Chinese take-out
* Movie "Sunshine Cleaning"

Nothing says "weekend sans responsibility" like greasy Chinese food and a movie on the couch. Sunshine Cleaning was a pretty cute movie. I'm a sucker for Indie movies, and this fit the bill. The food was predictable... Chans is always a pretty safe bet.

Saturday:
* Photo shoots at the Arboretum & Pike Place Market

* Cider from the Urban Coffee Lounge

* Shopping at Bellevue Square, where I picked up two bubble bars from Lush

* Pagliacci Pizza for dinner

* Bubble bath with previously mentioned bubble bar
* Movie - "Away We Go"

Driving home from the photo shoots was kind of a weird feeling. I knew no one was waiting for me at home, no one needed anything from me. I was totally free to go wherever I wanted, make whatever stops I felt like... it was nice! I always rush home from photo shoots because I want to spend some of my weekend time with Ben and Henry, so this was different.

Sunday:
* Photo shoot

* Lunch and shopping at Pacific Place

* Home to pick up

* Guys home!!

I enjoyed my weekend as a single girl, but was so glad to see the guys when they got home. Ben had to rush right back out the door to get to soccer practice, but that meant I got some good one-on-one time with Henry while it poured rain outside.

So what, if anything, did I take away from my weekend alone? Well, besides lots of interrupted sleep, I was able to rest and refill my tank. Henry is in a fun, yet physically and emotionally demanding stage right now, and I really needed that time to just be quiet and enjoy not being frustrated. I also realized just how much nothing is quite as fun without them around. Shopping, watching movies, going out to eat... none of things were quite as fun to do, even alone, without having Ben and Henry to come home to.

I'm glad they're back.

First post.

So, I decided to create a blog that's just for me. Not for business, or family, or anything else. Just for me. Keep track of my adventures just being me, whether it's what I baked last or how much fun I had with Ben and Henry at the pumpkin patch.